When Bereavement Is Traumatic: Supporting Employees After a Death by Suicide
The lasting impact of suicide bereavement, and why employers need to look beyond compassionate leave.
The recent inquest into the deaths of three sisters in Brighton has brought renewed attention to the devastating and often complex circumstances surrounding suicide and bereavement.
Jane Adetoro, Christina Walters and Rebecca Walters died in May 2026.
At the inquest in October, the court heard about the profound impact of their mother's death in 2010. The coroner acknowledged that the reasons behind the sisters' deaths may never be fully understood.
One detail particularly resonated with me. Rebecca, the youngest sister, worked in human resources.
Her profession has no established connection to the circumstances of her death. But it is a poignant reminder that HR professionals, like everyone else, have personal lives, experiences of loss and difficulties that may remain invisible to those around them.
We cannot know what these three women were experiencing, and it would be wrong to speculate about the circumstances of their deaths.
But this heartbreaking case raises an important wider conversation about bereavement, traumatic loss and the support people may need long after someone has died.
When grief is complicated by trauma
Losing someone we love can be one of life's most difficult experiences.
When a death is sudden, unexpected or involves suicide, the emotional impact can be particularly complex.
Alongside sadness and loss, those left behind may experience shock, guilt, anger, confusion or an overwhelming search for answers.
Questions may remain unresolved.
Could something have been done differently?
Were there signs that were missed?
Why did this happen?
For some people, these questions can become an exhausting part of their grieving experience.
Suicide bereavement may also bring feelings of stigma, isolation or difficulty talking openly about the circumstances of the death.
And while grief is a natural human response to loss, some individuals may experience trauma-related symptoms that make everyday life, relationships and work particularly difficult.
Not everyone will experience these difficulties, and not everyone will need specialist intervention.
But recognising that traumatic bereavement can involve more than grief alone is important.
The impact doesn't end when someone returns to work
Work can provide welcome structure, connection and a sense of normality following bereavement.
For some employees, returning to familiar routines is an important part of finding their way forward.
For others, the return can be unexpectedly difficult.
Concentration may be affected.
Sleep may be disrupted.
Confidence and decision-making may feel different.
An employee may be managing practical responsibilities, supporting other grieving family members or privately struggling with distressing memories and unanswered questions.
Yet colleagues and managers may see someone who appears to be functioning normally.
They attend meetings.
They answer emails.
They meet deadlines.
And gradually, the workplace assumes they are coping.
But appearing to cope and feeling supported are not necessarily the same thing.
When compassionate leave isn't enough
Most organisations recognise the importance of offering compassionate leave following a bereavement.
But a few days away from work cannot address every emotional or practical consequence of a significant loss.
Particularly where bereavement involves suicide or traumatic circumstances, an employee's needs may extend well beyond the initial period of absence.
This doesn't automatically mean prolonged leave or ongoing therapeutic intervention.
It may mean temporary flexibility, adjustments to responsibilities, a supportive conversation or access to confidential specialist help.
Importantly, the employee should retain choice over what they disclose and what support they accept.
Managers do not need to become grief specialists.
But they do need to recognise when someone's circumstances may require more than the organisation's usual bereavement arrangements.
Recognising when specialist support may help
Bereavement is not, in itself, a clinical condition.
Many people navigate grief with support from family, friends, colleagues and their existing networks.
However, where a loss has been particularly traumatic, specialist support may be beneficial.
An employee may be experiencing persistent distress, anxiety, intrusive memories, difficulties functioning or the re-emergence of earlier traumatic experiences.
In these circumstances, access to appropriately qualified bereavement or trauma practitioners can provide a confidential space to explore what they are experiencing.
Where clinically appropriate, trauma-focused therapies, including EMDR, may form part of that support.
The aim is not to remove grief or place a timetable on recovery.
It is to help individuals manage the impact of their experiences and regain a greater sense of stability in everyday life.
The responsibility of employers
Compassionate bereavement support goes beyond having a policy.
It means creating a workplace where employees feel able to say when they are struggling, without fear of being judged or viewed as incapable.
For HR professionals and line managers, this includes:
Recognising that bereavement is individual and may be complicated by traumatic circumstances.
Avoiding assumptions about how someone should feel or how quickly they should recover.
Maintaining appropriate, agreed contact after the initial period of leave.
Offering flexibility and practical adjustments where possible.
Respecting confidentiality and allowing employees control over what is shared.
Understanding when specialist support may be appropriate.
Ensuring managers and HR professionals themselves have somewhere to seek guidance.
And perhaps most importantly, recognising that someone who appears to be coping may still be carrying an enormous emotional burden.
Supporting the people who support others
HR professionals are often the first people employees turn to following a death, serious illness or traumatic event.
They may be responsible for difficult conversations, supporting managers, arranging adjustments and helping employees navigate emotionally complex circumstances.
Yet HR professionals themselves are not immune to grief, trauma or personal loss.
The Brighton tragedy is a reminder that someone's professional role tells us very little about what they may be experiencing privately.
Organisations need to ensure that the people responsible for supporting others can also access confidential, independent support when they need it.
Beyond the policy
At Beyond EAP, we support employees navigating trauma, loss and bereavement, including sudden and traumatic deaths.
Our approach recognises that grief is deeply individual and that the right support depends on the person, their circumstances and the impact of their experience.
For some, specialist bereavement counselling may be appropriate.
For others, trauma-focused therapeutic support, including EMDR where clinically indicated, may help address the psychological impact of a traumatic experience.
We work alongside existing EAP, Occupational Health and internal wellbeing provision, providing specialist, confidential, one-to-one support where additional expertise or continuity is needed.
We also understand the importance of helping employees navigate their working lives while managing significant personal loss.
The aim is not to medicalise grief.
It is to ensure that people who need additional support can access it at the right time.
A final reflection
The deaths of Jane, Christina and Rebecca are an immense tragedy, and our thoughts remain with their family and everyone affected.
We cannot know the full circumstances of another person's life, nor should we assume that any particular intervention could have prevented.
